50 Shades Of Fucked Up

50 Shades Of Fucked Up

As you may have noticed, the second adaption of Fifty Shades is out.

Thousands of women have lined up to see it, except for me.

If you haven’t already heard the great news there will be a third one coming out.

However, the sequel, Fifty Shades Darker is getting some bad press.

Us Weekly’s film critic Mara Reinstein called it a “limp bore”.

Variety’s Guy Lodge reviewed it as “an expensively scented two-hour soapdown, interspersed with some light erotic frisking, all administered very much with the original author’s sticky-fingered touch”.

Here’s the problem I have with the trilogy Fifty Shades:

First of all, Fifty Shades author E.L. James told ABC back in 2012 that she was inspired by the Twilight saga.

So these bestselling erotic romance books began as a fan fiction spin-off of vampires… creative much?

Now millions of women have bought the books and love the fantasy. It later becomes a girls night out at the movies and some movie managers recently found cucumbers after a showing… but that’s another story.

I’ve re-watched the first movie and what I’ve realized is that the fantasy isn’t the sex. It’s the relationship.

Anastasia is a shy girl who finds Mr. Christian Grey intimidating and intriguing.

That’s the turn-on.

Mr. Grey is a man who tells you he doesn’t do romance. He’s not interested in taking you out on a date. He even tells Anastasia that she should stay clear from him.

So of course she’s hooked. She keeps running back to him.

He’s basically a rich bad boy who always gets his way.

That’s the turn-on.

It gets worse.

She finally sleeps with him because like any other virgin she just wanted a good fuck.

But then finds herself making breakfast the next day and meeting his mother. Whoa!

Now this ladies and gentlemen shows that he might want a relationship after all. In the dating world this is called mixed signals.

But the movie continues and he still isn’t changing.

That’s the REAL fantasy; hoping to change a person.

But it never happens and Mr. Grey isn’t able to give Anastasia what she wants which is a stable relationship.

Towards the end of the movie, she starts accusing him for wanting to change her.

But he’s been honest with her this whole time; He told her he is not boyfriend material.

Now that’s fucked up.

The sex also misrepresents BDSM* as some sort of punishment or mental illness.

BDSM is actually considered to be a sexual preference only possible through a healthy relationship with amazing communication and respect, not by signing a contract of do’s and don’ts.

The reason this trilogy is fucked up is because no one can change a person.

Especially when he tells you he is not interested or willing to do romance.

Run for the hills Anastasia.

You deserve better.

*(Bondage and Discipline), D/S (Dominance and submission), and S/M (Sadism and Masochism)


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