As a woman who’s been on a quite a few dates this past year I’ve noticed that men feel pressured to act a certain way.
Open the door for a lady, give her your jacket if she’s cold, walk her home… Was this ever a thing?
In a world where women are proudly labeling themselves as “feminists”, how do we define chivalry?
In the past, men would always bring flowers on a first date, ring the doorbell and picked you up.
He was sort of “in control” of the night.
My friend Tom told me that he once offered to pay for a meal on a date and the girl was so upset she told him she had enough money to pay for the meal.
Tom never heard from her again.
He later confessed to me that ever since then he’s stopped offering to pay on dates just so he doesn’t have to hear another “angry woman”.
I suppose women define chivalry in different ways but can we really blame men if we go barking at them when they’re acting like gentlemen?
In a way the modern woman has changed the definition of chivalry for men.
When it comes to being chivalrous, society has taken off the pressure for men.
Some may say that this is a good thing because women today have more freedom.
They aren’t forced to practically marry the man after the first date.
Like Tom’s date, if she isn’t happy she gets to leave the place, hop in her car and never call him again.
But is chivalry dead and if it is who is to blame for it?
Chivalry and feminism do not stand together.
It has to be said that chivalry is not something that has died but maybe evolved.
As a feminist, I believe that women should be entitled to the same salary, the same opportunity, the same education, the same access as men.
What women like Tom’s date need to understand is that yes you can be your own girl boss.
However, when it comes to dating and dealing with men only smart women win the golden ticket.
Tom’s girl told him she could pay for her food and drive herself home.
What she showed him was that she doesn’t need him.
The only thing a guy wants is to feel needed in any relationship.
A smart girl would’ve smiled at the fact that Tom wanted to pay even though she knows she can pay for her meal.
She then shows him that although she’s got her shit together she respects him.
Men want your respect, and you want to be treated like a lady—let him show you how.
No man will ever think less of you if you enjoy chivalry.
Respecting ourselves enough to want a man who is going to be there for you shows that you value yourself and take interest in your own future.
And don’t be fooled there are still great gentlemen out there.
If you haven’t found one yet then you’re probably just picking the wrong ones— the assholes.
Men who truly desire you will treat YOU right.
Never forget that.