I’ve been chasing perfection since I can remember.
I really had it in my head that I had to be perfect.
Perfect schoolgirl, perfect girlfriend, perfect friend, perfect hair, perfect face, perfect house, perfect life to the point that everyone assumed I was perfect.
And this is waayyy before social media.
I believed that everyone expected me to be perfect.
My parents, my friends, my boyfriends, my colleagues…. Every single person around me needed to believe that I was perfect.
I felt like I always had to aim for perfection.
I felt like I always had to please everyone.
I either go big or go home all the time.
I even had to fake it for years.
Newsflash: pretending to be perfect is a lot of work, it’s actually exhausting.
It’s taken me a few fights with my loved ones to realize that I really strive to be perfect.
Hello my name is_________ and I am a perfectionist.
I know this might sound silly because
- Nobody is perfect
- Read #1
But the truth is… some of us really do strive to be perfect.
There’s a group of people striving to be perfect (well I hope that I am not the only one who thinks this way…)
I know that when I apply for jobs and the employer asks me what my flaws are and I answer: well I’m a perfectionist…I know that I’ll probably never get the job.
But I REALLY truly, do, want everything to be right.
I sometimes act like Bree in Desperate Housewives. Remember her?
The redhead perfect housewife with the freshest and perfect hot muffins ready for when her husband gets home from work.
Don’t get me wrong. I know I have my flaws.
I lose it when things don’t go my way.
I get angry when my apartment isn’t clean to my liking.
I also like to take control of the kitchen especially when I’m cooking and I’m really a freak when It comes to driving my car.
I over react.
I don’t always say the right things.
I sometimes don’t think before I speak.
I don’t always make time to do things I love.
I’m definitely OCD.
I’m not patient.
We are all human beings, and we all have insecurities, but it’s about being honest with yourself.
Sit back and reflect on who you truly are.
I’m not perfect, and I will indulge in pizza and sweets on occasion.
So here I am telling the whole world today:
I AM NOT PERFECT.
Wow that was actually hard to write down.
The remedy: Try practicing authenticity.
I know that while I try to be perfect, I am also trying to avoid being ridiculed, blamed for something or passing judgment.
So the goal is to practice being real, raw, a more truer version of me.
I will allow myself to be vulnerable, to scream, to shake it and let it all out.
Watch out, imperfect me is coming.