Is there a right way to argue? — Alice

Is there a right way to argue? — Alice

Hey Alice!

Like every healthy relationship it’s normal to argue.

Two people with two different upbringings and ideas are bound to argue eventually, right?

What’s peculiar about arguments is that we end up hurting the people we love the most.

However, here are a few ways to get you out of your argument quickly and effectively:

Speak up right away.

Instead of walking away tell your partner what is bothering you. Try to diffuse the situation quickly. Let them know how you are feeling right away. Be in the moment. GO.

Forget the evidence list.

If you aren’t speaking up right away; you’ll explode. When you explode you’re going to start piling on the issue with other things that are bothering you. You’ll want to do this to legitimize your argument. “I hate when you do this and this and this.”

Resist the urge to say things you don’t mean.

Eventually if your partner isn’t reacting the way you want you’ll start saying mean things to them. You’re trying to see if you’re still important to them so you’ll say things that’ll really start affecting them. “You’re such a baby, get out of here, I hate you.”

So the best way to get out of the argument is to say something right away and recover from it together.

Have a discussion and quickly snap back into loving mode.

If you’re not feeling right after an argument let them know. Let them know that you don’t know what to do. Ask for their help instead of alienating yourself from them. Remember that your partner is your teammate so make them feel like one.

Hope this helps!

All Love,

The Working Girls


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